Today I get a Feeding Tube and Hopefully on My Way to Fatsville- April 3,2013

So finally today is the day I get a feeding tube put in my stomach that will hopefully eventually lead to me putting on some weight for transplant. I know most people wouldn't post this but my current weight is 75 pounds and I am hoping to get up to at least 90 or as much as I can. So I am waiting no breakfast,no snack, no lunch! They better not cancel on me I'm trying to gain weight not go on a three day fast. Finally at 3 they call for me to go down to radiology. Usually the gastro team is responsible for putting in feeding tubes but they are doing mine in radiology because they cannot give me general anesthetic bc I am currently on 4 liters oxygen and it could be dangerous if I am put to sleep. So I get to be awake during the procedure. I have confirmed with my transplant dr and my gastro doc that I would be given some sort of sedation and also trying to confirm if it was the kind that makes you not remember. Neither could confirm but said they would make me comfortable in radiology. Ok so I'm going to be awake and going to remember them insterting a tube into my stomache. Now I'm a bit nervous ok I'm nervous as heck. So they bring me into the room I recognize as the room that I previously had my PICC line put in as well as a catheter in my arty when I had to do plasmapheresis. The dr starts by asking me some of my medical history and if I ever had any surgeries on my stomach. Nope just appendix, hysterectomy,gallbladder, previous feeding tube (also known as my second belly button, and yup no stomach surgeries. Dr told me the x-ray shows that my liver is a little inflated and goes bellow my ribs into the area where they needed to put a tube in. They where going to do an ultra sound and see what they had to work with. Dr asks do I have any questions Yup what are you doing for sedation and will I remember this procedure. Yup I'm gonna remember the procedure but should not feel any pain this was guaranteed by the "Angel" pain med nurse. As I get on the table I am shaking like crazy. They look at the ultra sound and said it looks like there was a good area to work with and they would be putting three needles into my stomach. Two to stitch the tube to the stomach lining and another one to puncture a hole for the tube to be put thru. Ok were are these sedatives they told me I would be getting. Ok so I finally get some the dr tells the nurse to start with a small does bc I'm small I'm thinking why not start with the normal dose bc I'm still shaking and nervous. She gives me half the does and nothing happens I am a bit calm but there's no way this is how I'm going to be during this. Then the dr says I don't think it's affecting her go ahead and give the remainder of the dose. Yup that worked I felt like I could fall asleep but did not just staired up and didn't think what was happening. And about 15 minutes later there done I couldn't believe it done so fast. So Yup I was panicking for no reason. Felt nothing what so ever. Man I over think stuff and work myself out for no reason. I actually do it every time I go in that room to have a line inserted and every time nothing it's not painful and procedure is way quicker then I think. So in 36 hours I can start eating while I sleep!